Mission: Epic Failure
by Pelgirl
Summary: Pretty much, Maka disappears and Black Star and Kid are assigned to go find her. But there are a few 'problems' along the way. Will the two ever shut up and actually do what they were told to? Will Maka ever be found at this rate? Includes a random flashback. Bad at summaries. This is my first fanfiction ever and I will try to continue on making chapters.
1. A Bad Start

**Maka: Sooo, what's this story about Pelgirl?**

**Black Star: IT'S ABOUT MEE! THE BIGGEST STAR EVER!**

**Maka: Maka… CHOP! {Slams dictionary on Black Star's head}**

**Black Star: Owwww. WHAT WAS THAT FOR?**

**Maka: You IDIOT! {Maka-chops again} You just interrupted our author!**

**Pelgirl: Ummm, It's ok Maka. Black Star can't help it if he acts like that I guess. Just Chop and forget is what I always say.**

**Black Star: So what now? Are you guys teaming up on me?**

** Pelgirl: Yep. That's pretty much it!**

**Pelgirl: But anyways, this is my very first story so sorry if it's not perfect but I still hope you like it anyways.**

**Black Star: {yells out loud} Of course it's going to be perfect! After all, you have a big star like me acting as the main character!**

**_Part One: A Bad Start_**

_(Kid P.O.V.)_

He and Black Star were on a mission. Except this mission seemed to be impossible (no pun or reference intended)! He felt even more frustrated than when he woke up one morning to find that Patti had sprayed syrup all over the house! This for him, OCD and all, sure is saying something. "Come on Kid! You do have soul perception, don't you? Have you ever thought of actually USING IT?" Moaned Black Star. "We've been walking in circles forever and a big star like me doesn't deserve to be stuck with you!" Black Star continued to whine. "I'm trying the best I can Black Star" Kid struggled to keep himself from kicking the whiny blue-haired boy into the middle of next week, but his golden eyes twitched uncontrollably. "Besides, it's not like you could ever do this without me so don't complain!" Kid blurted out. "IS THAT A CHALLENGE? YOU DARE INSULT THE GREAT ALMIGHTY BLACK STAR? TINY WEAKLINGS LIKE YOU DON'T STAND A CHANCE AGAINST ME!" yelled the ever-so-annoying ninja. {SNAP} at that one sentence, Kid completely lost it. Without even thinking, he leaped forwards and kicked Black Star with both feet (to stay symmetrical of course), and he just so happened to aim for the big annoying mile-per-minute mouth. And he hit it dead on! Black Star's eyes bulged as his heels were suddenly planted on his cheek and skidded across while leaving a black rubber streak and he fell backward in surprise. "WHAT THE HECK KID?" screeched Black Star. Instead of falling on the ground like Kid thought he would, Black Star actually landed on his hands and bounced off them in a perfect, symmetrical handspring. Kid's eyes sparkled, he didn't even think Blackstar had enough brain cells to process symmetry "SYMMETRY! OH SWEET SYMMETRY! YOUR FINALLY EMBRACING THE LIGHT!" Kid cheered. Then he remembered the whole, beating BlackStar to a pulp scene and composed himself, _"_I thought a hit like that would have AT LEAST made a crater in the ground! Hmm, I guess I'll have to practice that a few more times" Kid muttered to himself. In the middle of his thoughts, he heard probably the most annoying, bratty voice in his entire life. Black Star was yelling something at him but Kid didn't really care. He was too enveloped by the mysterious dark aura that was emitting around him in flames and his eyes glowed. Even the light bulbs along the street lamps exploded. Cats started to hiss, dark clouds suddenly appeared in the setting sky, and lightning inexplicably flashed for no other reason than to add dramatic effect to the moment.

_(Normal P.O.V.)_

Maybe if Tsubaki, Liz, or Patti had been with them, they might have not fought. But on this mission, it was just them. Kid and Black star were especially chosen for this, without their weapons even. Their mission just happened to be the most vital quest at the moment but for some reason, Lord Death only assigned the two most opposite and clashing people in the whole academy.. They were trying to find a certain blonde scythe-master who had apparently gone missing the other day. This job had been assigned by Lord Death himself who said that Soul told him that he came home one day to find her missing and a small shredded piece of paper from her diary with a message. It read: "He's coming, I don't have much time! If I don't hurry, he'll find me and things might get ugly. For the first time in a long while, I'm actually scared! But if I tell Soul, Kid, Black star, or anyone of the gang they might ask questions that I can't answer. The only option left is to go face "him"! Good luck to me. I guess he'll probably be at Am-" the note was strangely ripped off from that point and a little black and crispy at the edges like it caught on fire or something. Her writing had been in a rushed, scribbly, red pen style. Soul had said that Maka NEVER writes in pen due to certain circumstances.

_(Flash Back) (Maka P.O.V.)_

_Soul and I were walking out of the barber shop one sunny afternoon. In my professional opinion about bad luck, I thought that today was surprisingly well. I couldn't help but feel as if nothing could stamp me down today. I even managed to get Soul to tame that wild frizzy shark on his head! "Well Soul, what do you think?" I asked while giggling with a smirky grin on my face. "Soul thinks that this is way out of the cool range" her partner muttered. "Why are you talking in third person Soul?" I asked with confusion in my voice. "Soul actually doesn't know. It's kind of weird. But it's been happening ever since Soul had some of Blair's tuna while Maka was gone studying." He said with a scrunched up face as he tried to stop himself. "Well, well! That explains why you have been so quiet and compliant! I like you better this way. I stated. Then my smirk grew. I think you deserve it, I mean, if you ACTUALLY were stupid enough to eat that twisted cat's-…!" Before she finished her sentence, a GROCERY cart came speeding down the hill and it just so happened to hit me from behind and my cloak got snagged in the front bars and took me with the cart. Come on! I mean, stuff happens, but who gets hit by a GROCERY CART?! Like seriously?! "Ack! OH MY GOSH AAAHHHHH! " I yelped and where I was one second ago, was about a block away now. I flailed my arms in panic and yelled "OH COME ON!" And while I'm having my face peel off, Soul is just standing there like an idiot and dumbfounded as I disappeared on the hill. Where is the whole 'reliable cool' guy when you need him? I looked down and noticed that the wheels were black, on fire, and starting to smoke. "Uh-oh!" I tried to wriggle myself off the cart but my cloak has completely entwined with the bars. So much for escape. I kinda felt like Chrona right now, how am I supposed to deal with this? Maybe I should have listened to Liz when she said I needed a fashion change! But as I start to enter the town plaza on the grocery-cart-ride-of-death-express, I scream out "OUT OF THE WAY PEOPLE! SPEEDY CART COMING THROUGH! MOVE IT OR LOSE IT FOR GOOD!" Everyone looked over and stared in shock as they saw a grocery cart moving well above 70 miles per hours with a blonde girl pinned to the front flailing her arms and screaming. But I don't really blame them. I mean, it really wasn't possible. But in Death City, I guess anything is possible. So, if things couldn't get any worse at this point, they just did. My dad just so happened to walk out of the ChupaCabra's to see me whoosh by and he screamed "MAKAAAAAAA!" "DADDY WILL COME AND SAVE YOU!" he went into complete psycho mode and nothing can stop him once he's in there! Not even the laws of physics. So here I am, strapped to a grocery cart going at roughly 70-80 miles per hour, riding through town, with a superpowered dad chasing me all the way. I always thought this kind of thing happened only in TV, movies, books, or fanfictions. Which this is none of. Right now my dad had his sprinting pace set to "MAKA MAKA MAKA MAKA MAKA MAKA MAKA! ", unsettling, isn't it? Then I realized I had forgotten about a HUGE problem! "AGH! THE WHEELS!" I looked down just in time to see the last of the crispy-and-on-fire metal wheels crumble into black dust and for a moment, time froze and the craziness settled in as terror splayed on my face. I realized something. This. Is. Bad. Then I'm not proud of what I did next, I admit, but I started to scream like a little girl. "WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" I almost was bawling but then I felt a bump. What happened next was a blur, but I remember some parts clearly. The cart flipped backward, which effectively catapulted me over my dad's head, who kept sprinting forward, thank god. I wasn't sure what happened to my black cloak but the next thing I know, I'm floating in a KIDDIE pool. I moaned and exclaimed "Wow!" "That's weird! First I get hit by a grocery cart somehow and get taken for a rollercoaster ride, then I somehow have the luck to perfectly land in a small Kiddie pool when I fall off." I shook my head. "I hope that nobody hears about this! I'll be the laughingstock of the school! ' Maka, the girl who got pummeled by a grocery cart' " Then I frowned. "Wait, where on Earth am I anyways?" I looked around for a landmark or map or something. And guess what? Behind me was none other than the Statue of Liberty. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF DEATH? HOW'D I END UP IN NEW YORK?" I hollered. "Let's see, so I started in Nevada, so that would mean… I traveled over at least 10 states!" I calculated. "Wait a second….. Dad was behind me the WHOLE way! Since when was it possible to run at over 70 miles per hour for 5 minutes?! Not even pros can do that!" I shivered at the thought. "I don't think I ever want to know. Maybe Stein did something weird to him one of those nights?" I pondered. And I couldn't help but sigh. Then I noticed some muddy hobos on the street staring at me like I belonged in an insane asylum. I blushed and ran out of that awkward scene. "Alright, I guess I better call Marie or something to get out of here." I pulled out my old cellphone and started dialing as I walked away into the night._

_(Flashback End)_

The only response Lord Death got was two hysterical meisters, rolling on the floor, while laughing their heads off when he told them this. "HAHAHAHAHA! I CAN'T BELIEVE MAKA WOULDN'T TELL US ABOUT THIS!" Kid said between high pitched laughing. "YEA, HAHAHAHAHA! I CAN'T WAIT TO MAKE HER SQUIRM IN FRONT OF GOD!" replied Black Star. Who was pounding his chest like a gorilla while laughing. "Uhhm" said Lord Death as he sweatdropped. "Isn't Maka your friend?" he stated while backing away slowly from the slightly-psychologically-unstable pair. "UH, SURE! BUT WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS?" they both said in sync. "Anyways…." Lord Death paused, trying to get their attention. "You won't be able to laugh at Maka unless you find her." He said simply. "WHAT?! MAKA IS MISSING?!" Kid and Black Star yelled. Lord Death face palmed. He couldn't believe how these two were acting in a 'crisis' situation. But at least he had their full, undying attention now.

**_That's it for Chapter One! I hope that everyone will like it. _**

**Maka: Black star you liar! You weren't even CLOSE to being the main character!**

**Black Star: HAHAHA. A BIG STAR LIKE ME IS SO BRIGHT; I DON'T EVEN NEED TO BE THE MAIN CHARACTER TO BE ABOVE ALL OTHERS!**

**Maka: Hey pelgirl, be sure not to include Black Star in the next chapter. His ridiculously short appearance is giving him too much ego.**

**Pelgirl: Maka, Black star ALWAYS has too big of an ego. There's nothing I can do to stop it.**

**Black Star: YAAHOO! THAT'S RIGHT! I'M SO AWESOME THAT EVEN THE AUTHOR CAN'T BEAT ME!**

**Pelgirl: Ok, this is going to end here and now. As punishment, neither you OR Kid will be in the next chapter.**

**Kid: B..b..but! How is this my fault! **

**Pelgirl; you were fighting him, you should have beat him harder so he could be knocked out! Sorry Kid. You'll just have to wait until a different chapter.**

**Kid: I must be GARBAGE! ASYMMETRICAL GARBAGE!**

**Pelgirl: Calm down Kid! I was just joking. You and Blackstar will be in the next chapter. And please, you're not garbage! SO JUST ACT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON ALREADY! **

**Pelgirl: Anyways. Thank you for reading! Now to answer a question you might have. Yes there will be more chapters! Although I'm planning on making this only a 2 to 3 chapter story. If anyone is wondering how Lord Death knows about Maka's 'incident', it will be answered in the next chapter. Thanks again for reading! If you have any comments, questions, and/or suggestions please review! (Just keep in mind that this is my first fan-fic ever when doing so)**


	2. Author's Notes

_**Author's Feedback/ Note**_

**Hello everybody! I'm writing this to thank everyone who read my story. Primarily to those who reviewed. But thank you everyone!**

**I appreciate that you have put up with my beginner's mistakes and not immediately rejected my story to preserve my gentle heart. 3**

**Special thanks to the two who reviewed. It is thanks to you that I have the courage to move on! **

**Now I'd like to give you some feedback.**

**Guest: I'm happy that you think that and yes, like I said earlier I am new so I will try to improve my grammar as things go on. Thank you for taking the time to review and give some feedback.**

**Llamaaaaaas: I will do my best! Now that everything is out of the way, I can actually post multiple chapters. :) thanks for the review.**

**So don't be afraid to voice opinions about the story and once again, THANKS SO MUCH! I'm so happy! **

**One last thing, I forgot to put this is the last chapter but,**

**I do not own Soul Eater, or it's characters. **

**After my next chapter, I will try to do this again and respond to any more reviews. See you later everyone!**


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